complaining 101

A New Way To Start

*this was part of the wild card and I didn't mean to make this sad it was just a rant about how I feel on a day to day basis 

Okay I am not exactly sure how to start this but I guess ill start venting to my best of ability. I don't do this often, I don't tell people about my life or my problems but I guess here goes nothing.
 Im not going to lie I honestly struggle in school, not because I don't understand because if I'm being honest I think I am pretty smart when I put my mind to it but as of lately, since I lost my dad I feel like I am incapable of doing anything anymore. I feel unworthy of everyone and every thing. I don't really understand why this had to happen.
 I dont understand, as a matter of fact its one of my greatest fears but when I lost when my dad I wasn't as scared because I knew that wherever he went I wanted to go. Some days I miss him like crazy and others I pass the days without even giving him a thought, is that bad? Is what is happening to me bad? because everyone tells me its grief but I feel like if they knew what was happening they wouldn't make me do all of this.
 There are days where I don't even want to participate in life and I just wanna lay in bed and sleep for the rest of eternity. I guess I could understand where they are coming from when they want me to come out of my room and participate in life but nothing feels the same without him anymore and its just a constant emptiness.

Wild

Come up with your own story

Personally I enjoy coming up with expository posts. I enjoy coming up with my kind of storyline and I feel other people might enjoy that as well. Having a beginning, middle and an end and a picture to go with the thought process of their story. Just any story you wanna tell but it has to be fiction. I feel like if you make it up it will give you more room to be creative. A lot of imagery and interesting twist and turns throughout your story to keep the reader occupied. As if you were reading a page in a book, description is key. There is no limit on what to write about, make it your own little story. 

Freshman year

Substantial

Freshman year kind of started off as a blur. I remember walking into a new school and being scared of what people would think of me. I didn't have very many friends the first couple of weeks, I don't think I ever felt like I fit in to that school. I would stare at all these new people, they all looked substantial. I started my freshman year at La Cueva. Everyone was so nice and kind but god where the teachers awful, they had such horrible ways of teaching, they would sit you at desk and give you a paper and expect you to learn it. The only teachers I actually remember being good where the art teachers. They actually cared about their students. I spent a lot of my time obsessing about art and friends especially this one person. From what I remember Freshman year really sucked for me. The only pure thing I remember is the innocence of what it felt like to start fresh somewhere. I enjoyed no one knowing what I was like, I stood out. I could be whoever I wanted to be and that felt freeing at the time. 

Marie's 18th ;)

A Birthday To Never Forget

First off everyone is invited is invited (that means you as well), well as long as you're in high school, my party would be like a giant high school party that you see in movies.  I would have a live band playing, maybe I would hire a DJ or I would get some like Khalid to sing. I wouldn't really having anything special about it but just having a lot of people there. 

Don't forget your invitation ;)

Family abuse

The Hart Family

Just March of last year Jennifer and Sarah Hart drove themselves and their kids off a 100-foot cliff. Coming upon reading this I want to speak my voice and my opinion on it, I have a lot to say. This left me with so many questions like why? how? Are people really that clueless that they cant see when a child is in need? So many points when reading https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/06/us/hart-family-crash-inquest-searches/index.html made me think that how could people not question their parenting? 

 Now I could be an optimist person here and say maybe that these parents weren't beating their children, that maybe that child did fall. Maybe both parents had some kind of mental disorder and just weren't getting the right treatment. Maybe the metal disorder had caused them to suffocate the family but at heart they both really loved the children. All maybe's is what an optimist is left with. 

 I am not an optimist I am a realist and I do believe that those children where crying out for help and nobody at the time could help them and that such a tragic thing to hear."After the family moved to Woodland, Washington, the children started going to their neighbor, Bruce DeKalb, for help and food in the middle of the night."All we can do now is hope and pray that those kids are now in a better place. 

political argument

Executive order 13769

 Executive Order 13769 also called Protecting the Nation from Foreign Terrorist Entry into the United States, is an executive order signed by United States President Donald Trump on January 27, 2017. It limits travel to the United States from some countries and by all refugees. 

 I believe there is some good to this but they just went the wrong way of doing it. The executive order is mainly to help the nation against terrorist entry but the way they are going about is just seems all wrong "Refugees that are seeking a safe haven in the United States are fleeing war and persecution in their home countries. It is at the very least unfair and at worst inhumane to deny the dreams and aspirations that these people share with the US founding fathers. Further, the right to seek asylum and to seek to visit the United States, by all citizens of all countries regardless of race, religion or ethnic origin, is provided for by the law and protected by the constitution of the United States. People visiting relatives in the United States from these countries have also gone through the strict process of obtaining visas and must be accorded due process as they seek to be with their loved ones in the US. This ban, in its entirety, is a violation of the constitution hence it has being struck down, twice so far, by US courts." https://www.muslimamericansociety.org/muslim-ban-executive-order-13769/  basically the US is just making it a struggle for certain people because of this order which is wrong. I strongly believe in everybody having a right and this is not something I want in my country. 

 The executive order should be reevaluated due to the problems it is causing on Muslims and others in the US and out. "Delivered just days after Trump made an about-face on his controversial practice of separating families detained at the border, the Supreme Court decision is a substantial victory for an administration that has had much of its immigration policy hindered by a long series of court interventions."https://www.migrationpolicy.org/article/upholding-travel-ban-supreme-court-endorses-presidential-authority-while-leaving-door-open  because of the order many people are being separated from their families which is not okay. I do not think that order was intentionally meant for this to happen. I really do believe that President Trump was just trying to make the world a safer place rather than a threatening one. 

 With adjustments to the order it could get pretty far and make a pretty decent executive order. As i was scoping the internet for more information about the order I found this, "On January 27th, the executive branch of the United States issued an executive order banning the people of seven predominantly Muslim countries from entering the U.S. This order has resulted in the detainment of hundreds as they arrived at airports, denies safety to refugees, traps the over 90,000 visa holders from those nations either inside or outside the U.S., and threatens immigrant and refugee communities throughout the country." https://thoughtbot.com/blog/reaction-to-executive-order-13769 as I was reading through it I understood how completely wrong the President went with this order and as much as I believe in the right of this order Im not really sure how to feel about it. 

 To end this, nor I agree or disagree with Executive Order 13769, I am not quite sure how to feel about it. So throughout the post I stated both sids of the story. I think that with all the adjustments it would be okay, but I still am not okay with this executive order. I think its really wrong and it hurts to see people getting treated like this. I know right intentions were at heart but I still think that a lot of mistakes were made. I think maybe if we all came together an tried to see exactly what President Trump was trying to do here we and protest more rules or enforcement be made to the order I think that maybe it would lead to a stronger world. 

Our fears

Being burned alive

It was March 31st, 1941 when I decided to join this group therapy session for people with irrational fears. I sat down in one of those chairs that we used to sit in back when we were in school, hearing it creak and crack flooded my mind with all the tortuous memories of what people used to call "the best years of your life." Something about me not a lot of people know is back in school I was heavily bullied. Kids thought it was funny to chase me around school with lighters because my family died in a house fire so kids used to tell me that it was my turn to burn.
"Scarlett, would you like to introduce yourself to the group" As soon as those words left the mans mouth I quickly stood up like a force just rolled through my body and left. "Hello everybody, my name is Scarlett Price" "Hi Scarlett" everybody murmured my name back like a bunch of robots or zombies "Would you like to tell the group why you're here today Scarlett?" I turned around to see the man behind me with his hand on my shoulder and smiling. His smile was a sign to feel welcome I guess but I couldn't help but feel a little creeped out. I had told the group everything about the fire and the bullying and I couldn't help but notice their eyes widen every time my mouth would open to tell a little more of the story.
April, 5th: I was sitting at home reading a book with the quite noise of the city in the background. I guess I got lost in the noise of the city because before I knew it the dark was setting in. I was setting up for bed when I noticed a knock at the door. Another knock came flooding through the silent house. Slowly I placed my hand to the doorknob when the person behind the door had beat me to it because the door came flying open. "Im sorry to scare you Ms. Price, I just had to check on you. You haven't been to group these past couple of times." He was saying all this nonsense as he walked himself into my house.
"Im sorry Mr-"
"Carter"
"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Carter but I just didn't feel like coming and if I have any right I do not believe you should have came here, or opened my front door, or even walked yourself into my house. Now please I am a very busy woman"
"Well Ms. Price I am very sorry about all those things but to be fair shouldn't a young lady like yourself keep your door locked at all times?"
"What was it you said you came here for again?'
"Oh Ms. price please, not a need to worry." He sat down on the only chair I had in my living room and stared at me from the door. "Scarlett" I whispered under my breath but I guess he had heard me because he gave me an odd look. He opened his bag and looked inside, like a quick check of some sort. " Is it too much to ask for a cup of tea Scarlett?" I looked at him with surprise but walked myself into the kitchen and made his tea.
I began to walk out into the living room when I guess he heard my footsteps and asked "Im not drinking alone now am I?" so I had walked myself back into the kitchen and poured myself a cup. As I walked out into the living room a little light was lighting up Mr. Carters face and as soon I realized exactly what was happening I dropped the tea and ran for the door but I was frozen, I couldn't move I just stood there crying like a little cry. Mr. Carter came over to me with the lighter and put it up my face and I knew he was talking but I couldn't hear a single thing besides my heart pounding.

A little name poem

Brenda Renee Harmon

B-eautiful, bright and intelligent type of person

R-adiant, kind, and warm smile that brightens up even the saddest days. 

E-nthuastic, and postive type of personality that could make the universe go "wow"

N-ot a day goes by where she does think about of different ways to help others. 

D-ifferent ways she sees to surprise people with her upbeat, fun loving, and caring heart/mind

A-nd to think such an amazing person who enjoys life to fullest, I get to call my best friend 

Reviewing the media

The Office

Before I even clicked on the first episode to watch this so called iconic show, I got some options and read through the description of the show. After looking up a little bit about the show I decided to watch it without giving any options going in. 
 As the show started I noticed that the comedy was a bit raunchy and dated for its time. The show is a bit hard to pick up on when you first start to watch it, but I think as you get further into the seasons the better the content of the show gets (if I make any sense). I tried to describe this as detailed as possible but I just think the first season of this show starts off to a pretty bad start. I think if the show started off skipping the first season it would have been more interesting, or maybe just making the situations more dramatic because overall the show has a sense of boringness to it (personal opinion, not trying to offend anyone)

A Sleepers Dream Heaven

A Quick Power Nap Class

If  I could create any elective I definitely would create an elective that would be a class that just surrounded sleeping. As a very sleeping teen I know I would very much benefit from this class. Now this would not be the only thing we would do, we would learn about sleep and what your dreams means. Basically anything surrounding sleep we would focus on, but our main focal point would be taking naps making sure everyone is well rested bece sleep is such an important part of our health and if we don't get enough of it then we won't function normally anymore.
 Now I know this sounds like a class all about sleeping but I can't stress enough learning will take place in this class! I want something for teenagers that will actually help them get through the day.  Would you want to join this class?

Another Devastating Disease

It was the summer of '08 when I found out about her illness. She was very reluctant to tell me about any of it, I mean she hid it from me for so long so I couldn't blame her. I lived six hours away from her now so I couldn't keep up with her day to day life anymore.
 I knew something was wrong when she wouldn't want to call me anymore, or she would just hangup randomly when her parents would come into the room. Let me get back to when I found out, when basically my life was shattered. We were sitting in her room and she refused to look at me. she was hiding under her blankets. When I was finally able to remove her blanket she didn't look like herself but of course I would never make that aware to her. I told her how much I missed and loved her when she told me she had Lupus "Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body" I was so utterly confused on what was coming out of her mouth so as I got home that day all I could is research about Lupus.
 I kept looking at webpage after webpage trying to understand exactly what Lupus was but the only thing that seemed simple enough for me to understand was at a webpage https://www.lupus.org/resources/what-is-lupus "In lupus, something goes wrong with the immune system, which is the part of the body that fights off viruses, bacteria, and germs ("foreign invaders," like the flu). Normally our immune systems produce proteins called "antibodies" which protect the body from these invaders."